holiday jokes

My new years resolution is not to shovel snow...

Since I'm moving to Phoenix Arizona, I feel pretty good about it.

Dear Santa,

For this year I'm requesting a BIG bank account and a SMALL body.

P.S. Please don't mix them up like you did last year.

This Christmas, I told my girlfriend that all I wanted was an Xbox, nothing more. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, one Xbox.

You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together.

Which was fine... because I bought her an Xbox.

Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?

Because they are rain deer.