holiday jokes

On social media I posted, “If anyone mentions Christmas before Thanksgiving, I'm going to delete them!”

The next day, I didn’t have any friends.

All haunted houses are the same. I went to one the other night, and heard the standard screams, shrieks, scary sounds and gotchas.

Then I went to another one down the road and it was like "Deja BOO!" all over again.

Marvin has a binging problem which happens to him every year the day after Thanksgiving.

"Why must you gorge yourself on leftovers?" his wife asked. "Don't you have any self-control?"

"What are you worried about?" Marvin replied. "I can quit cold turkey!"

What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays!