Dracula was on a night out with his buddies and after much intoxication decided to call it a night. On his walk home he took a few back streets to shortcut. Upon walking down one such dark alley he was hit in the back of the head by a sausage roll but after looking around could not see whom the culprit was. Once again, in the next dimly lit passage he felt a chicken wrap splat across his back, thrown from behind, but again the perpetrator had hidden.
Finally as Dracula got to his castle gates, he felt a tap on the shoulder... he turned round to a dark figure wielding a sausage on a cocktail stick. No sooner had Dracula spoken than the dark figure plunged the stick into his heart.
Falling to the floor, Dracula uttered his last words... "Who are you?"... To which the dark stranger announced....
"I am Buffet the Vampire Slayer"!
What did the turkey say on Thanksgiving?
Don't "gobble" me up!
A descendant of Eric The Red, named Rudolf the Red, was arguing with his wife about the weather. His wife thought it was going to be a nice day, and he thought it was going to rain. Finally she asked him, how he was so sure. He smiled at her, and calmly said, "Because Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."
(Rudolf the red-nosed raindeer?)
Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas rather than through the door?
A. Because it soot’s him!