holiday jokes

Category: "Holiday Jokes"
2 votes

One year, Santa procrastinated too much and had an hour to go over his naughty nice list.

He was in a cabin gaining some progress when he heard a knock on his door. "Santa, we need your help in the workshop!"

Frustrated, Santa yelled "I'm busy right now, handle it yourselves. I can't afford to be interrupted!" And slammed the door.

Not 15 minutes later another knock is heard and his agitation is climbing. He opens the door and yells "What?!"

It was Mrs. Claus and she said startled "I brought you some food."

His face tuning red, he says "I've got a half hour left to check this list, I can't be interrupted!" He then slammed the door on his wife. He then says "I swear, the next interruption I get I'll just lose it."

About 20 minutes passed when he heard a knock at the door. He stormed to the door with a burning hatred when he opened it. It was an angel holding a Christmas tree. "Hey Santa, where do you want the tree?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "Don Dante" |
0 votes

Are you sure today isn't Christmas?

I just saw a bearded man in a red coat carrying a 70 inch tv out of my neighbors house?

Must have been a wrong address?

0 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "Fasteddie686" |
1 votes

Santa walks into the psychiatrist's office very upset.

"Why Santa," says the psychiatrist,"Why are you here?"

"I can't deliver the presents to the children's homes!!!" replies Santa.

"Well, what's the problem?" asks the psychiatrist.

"I don't know," says Santa, "I get very scared and anxious and just can't go down the chimney. What is it Doctor?

"Do you know what's wrong with me?" asks Santa.

"Yes," says the psychiatrist,"I know exactly what's wrong with you, Santa. You are suffering from CLAUS-trophia!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "maxx" |
4 votes

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

4 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "FunkyTechnic" |