one liner jokes

When I was young, I was poor...

But after many years of hard work, I am no longer young.

I’m on a whiskey diet...

I’ve lost three days already.

I thought there was something wrong with my pedometer app.

It thought there was something wrong with me.

It asked me if I had died.

I started a new workout routine this week, doing crunches twice a day...

I do Cap'n in the morning and Nestle's in the afternoon.