When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products.
At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips.
Seeing the checkout clerk's quizzical look, he explained, "I'm a very messy eater."
Both sides of our family turned out for my wife's college graduation. After the dean finished awarding all the diploma's, he requested, "Will all the 'cum laudes' please stand up?"
My mother-in-law leaned over and whispered, "Wow! The Cum Laude family sure has a lot of kids!"