Arriving late for a political conference, the college student asks another student standing by the door, "How long has the candidate been talking now?"
"Half an hour."
"And what is he talking about?"
"That I wouldn't know, he hasn't said."
Three politicians were in a heated discussion as to which one was the best liar. As the discussion was getting louder and louder the bartender suggested they have a liars contest. After agreeing to the rules the first says, "I have never told a lie,"
The second indicated that he was not capable of telling a lie.
The third won the prize as he assured the bartender that, "The other two had told the exact truth."
On a recent congressional trip to Switzerland one of the group spoke to a group. There was very little applause. He was followed by a man that spoke to them in their native tongue.
The applause was deafening and everyone in the group cheered as loudly as the best of them. Then, still clapping, he leaned over to the chairman of the meeting, "What did he say?"
"He was interpreting your speech to them," replied the chairman gravely.