Online Teacher: Johnny, you didn't complete the assignment I sent to your email box last week. Did you get the email?
Johnny: You'll have to ask the N.S.A., they read my emails so I don't need to. I figured if an email is important they'll let me know.
Teacher: Tell the N.S.A. they're getting an incomplete on this assignment and they better pay closer attention next time or they'll fail my class.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter 'F'.
What are the favorite vegetables in Washington, D.C.?
In Congress, it's celery...
At the White House, carrots...
And of course, at the Supreme Court, leeks.
After serving for several years in the House of Representatives, Charlie decided to run for a seat in the Senate.
A fellow congressman asked Charlie why he was making this change.
Charlie explained: "My wife wanted me out of the house."