The veteran politician, not known for his public speaking skills, was going to give a speech at the Olympics. He looked at the teleprompter and began, "O, O, O, O, O."
An aid quickly ran over and told him, "That is the logo sir."
A guy asked his lawyer, "If I pay off crooks, is it illegal?"
The lawyer replies, "Yes, you'd be involved in a conspiracy."
"Good," said the man, been looking for a way to avoid paying my taxes!
The economy is terrible. At the beginning of the year, the politicians promised things would improve by the last quarter...
Well, I'm down to my last quarter and they haven't improved!
It was revealed in a UK government survey that the prime minister was doing the work of two men...
Those two men would be Laurel and Hardy.