After successfully getting their big line items approved in the congressional spending package, two lobbyists were celebrating at a Washington restaurant.
“You know,” mused one, “it’s a crying, shame our grandchildren and great-grandchildren haven’t been born yet so they can see the terrific things the government‘s doing with their money.
Two Irishmen were talking: The first asks, "Connor, you know that guy Trump who is running for President?" Connor says, “I do Sean, I do." "Well", says Sean, "The next time he gets up to talk, I'd like to see someone throw a shoe at his head". "Now, now, you know you're not supposed to wish harm on anyone", says Connor. "Oh!” says Sean, "I'm not wishing him harm, and I just want to see Donald duck."
Obama is already tapped to be the local transplant transfer official
in his Chicago suburb when he leaves office. In other words,
he's going to be the "Community Organ-icer!"
At a construction site on the 80th floor of a high rise building, the lone conservative on the crew was having a heated political discussion with the liberals on the project. Deciding to take a break, he called everyone over to the edge of the roof. "Did you know," he began, "that there are extremely violent invisible updrafts that are able to keep a body floating in mid-air? They only occur at certain times during the day between buildings. Here, I'll show you!" He then leaped off the side of the building, and with arms spread-eagle, floated effortlessly on an unseen cushion of air, and then gradually steered himself back to the safety of the roof. "That's awesome," one of the left-wingers shouted. "I want to try it." "Me too," another cried, and then another, and as they leaped over the side of the roof, one after the other, they fell 80 floors straight down to the ground, SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
A crowd rushed over to witness the carnage, and while doing so, one of the spectators looked up and remarked, "Boy, Clark Kent sure hates liberals!"