A Politician rang up the "self help" line and said "I'm fed up with my life and am going to kill myself"
The operator said "where are you". The politician said "I am on the train track under the bridge"
The operator said "please stay on the line"????
4 surgeons were discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside them is numbered."
The second responds, "You should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable!"
After successfully getting their big line items approved in the congressional spending package, two lobbyists were celebrating at a Washington restaurant.
“You know,” mused one, “it’s a crying, shame our grandchildren and great-grandchildren haven’t been born yet so they can see the terrific things the government‘s doing with their money.