word play jokes

At the County Fair the couple’s 50 Yard Dash event entailed the ladies jumping on the backs of their partners and riding to the finish line.

Of the fifty couples beginning the race only three couples left the starting line. Oddly enough, in all three men who did leave the starting line were all named Mark; not a Willie or a Sam in the bunch.

The judges said, “Well that’s it, next year we’re not going to say on your mark, get set, go.”

When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von fumbles law)

A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale law of destiny)

When ones hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of ichiban)

Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance so sorry law)

When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny awaits law)

If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem (law of gravitas)

Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances. (Einstein's law of persistence)

You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of dingaling)

If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of wasteland)