Your veterinarian won't tell you this but if your dog is running a fever, go to the store and buy some mustard.
It's the best thing for a hot dog.
A wife was a little guilty that her husband wasn’t very happy because she didn’t like to do anything and didn’t want to ever leave the house. With this in mind, while eating an apple, the wife suggested he seek out a Psychic to help him find fun.
Seeing him happy again a few weeks later she asked if her suggestion helped him at all. Her husband told her that her suggestion to seek out a “Side Chick” was very good!
Girlfriend: “Let’s go to Utah!”
Boyfriend: “Why Utah?”
Girlfriend: Because I’m Short and Utah!”
Busily texting his girlfriend while hiking along the Colorado River, our fearless trail guide stumbled over a tree root and went flying head-over-heels into a patch of prickly pear cactus.
He tried to shrug off the episode, but for the rest of the expedition, we fondly referred to him as our 'Trip Leader!'