What do you call the ritual of giving honorary college degrees to celebrities?
Artificial Intelligence.
A fellow with a very sore shoulder went to his doctor for a consultation.
"It looks like it's just inflamed," the doctor said as he looked at the x-rays. "A cortisone shot would likely calm done the pain for a while."
"But will it hurt?" the patient asked.
The doctor's responded, "I've given hundreds of these shots, and I've never felt a thing."
“Are you making any New Year’s Resolutions?” my friend asked.
“Yes. I’ve resolved to stop playing so much polo,” I remarked.
“Since when have you been playing polo?"
“Never. But I figured that is one resolution I could keep!”
An elderly couple were discussing the news, and the husband read from the paper, "It says, 'After the collapse of FTX, Beyonce could be next.' Why would a singer be in trouble?"
The wife blurts back, "It's Binance, you idiot."