My picky eater husband couldn't decide which slice of cake to eat.
Frustrated I put a slice on his plate, handed it to him and yelled, "Just give piece a chance!"
"I received a half dozen really cool ties for my birthday. I guess I'm going to tie one on."
His wife shook her head and said, "Just don't wake me up when you get home!"
A North Korean soldier was asked to measure the height of a comrade's rifle.
"I can't," he replied. "My ruler is only 12 inches."
The friend looked at him, rather confused, and said, "I actually think Kim Jong-un is taller than that."
What did one disgruntled cardboard fake fan say to another?
"I wasn't cut out for this!"