Latest Jokes

Upon Little Johnny's graduation his Aunt gave him a graduation present.

Little Johnny: "Thank you so much Aunt Vera for this present."

Aunt Vera: "Oh, that's nothing to thank me for."

Little Johnny: "That's what I thought but mother told me to thank you just the same."

A young man showed up to his date’s house and told her they were going to have “an awesome time” that evening.

“What are we doing?” she asked.

“I got three tickets to a concert.”

“Why would we need three tickets?” his date asked.

“The tickets are for your parents and sister.”

My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.

One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."

Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate."

During a recent visit to Pakistan, I was invited by a village chief, an old family friend, to his ancestral home. After a sumptuous dinner, we sprawled on a thick, soft carpet with huge pillows for the backrest in the lounge.

A domestic server brought two hookahs, placed them at a far end of the room and lit the tobacco in the bowls of the hookahs. Their long pliable tubes, carrying the smoke that passed through water, reached us to inhale.

I was wondering as to why the hookahs were placed at such a long distance from us. Seeing me amazed, the host pointed out, “We should remain as far away as possible from tobacco!”