An older couple were making their funeral arrangements. The cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. "You will have a beautiful view of the swan pond," he assured them.
The husband didn't buy it, he replied, "Unless you will be including a periscope with my casket, I do not think I will enjoy it."
Stella, 6, and her mommy were talking.
Stella: "I'll bet you can't wait 'til I'm a teenager!"
Mommy: "Actually, I can."
Mommy: "Because I like you being sweet."
Stella: "I'll still be sweet when I'm a teenager. I'll just have an awkward way of showing it."
I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”