Kyle and Justin were about to eat with their babysitter when 6-year-old Kyle said, "You can't sit in Daddy's seat!"
"Daddy's not home," the babysitter replied. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today, I'm the boss."
Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, "If you're the boss, you sit over there in Mommy's chair!"
A man walking along a road in the countryside came across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells the shepherd, "I will bet $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell the exact number in this flock.”
The shepherd thinks it over. It is a big flock, so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished. The man was exactly right. He says "Okay. I am a man of my word, take an animal.”
The man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait!", cries the shepherd. "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.”
The man agreed. "You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd.
"Amazing!", responds the man. "You are exactly right! Tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well,” says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you.”
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy turned out. It's probably just your Dad."