Latest Jokes

My wife just sent me a strange text message.

"There's a man on the bus next to me who keeps farting."

I replied, "That's okay. At least he isn't on your bus."

A team leader of the Police Unit directed officers to strategic positions around a building late one night. It was believed a dangerous suspect was hiding out within the area.

Believing the culprit to be on the roof, the lead decided to have an officer shine his flash-light in that direction.

At just the right moment, he whispered, "Okay, throw a light on the roof."

The officer hurled his flashlight to the top of the building.

Whenever my wife uses the phrase, "I was thinking... "

That means I either have to move, build, paint, or buy something."

My mate asked me to do a charity 5 mile run.

I said no.

He then told me it was for blind and disabled people.

I then thought, I could actually win this.