Latest Jokes

2 votes

For once, instead of the ridiculous statement, "Please note our menu options have changed..."

How about, "Our menu options are the same as they have been for years. Just prepare to be on hold for a very long time..."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Bill Sauro" |
0 votes

A woman was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.

After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.

She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"

Her son piped up from the back seat, "I do... because you couldn't catch the other cars!"

0 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
3 votes

The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation.

After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said, "I don't know what you expect me to do for you. I'm a psychologist."

"A psychologist?" I replied. "Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can't you help us?"

"Well," he finally responded in a measured tone. "How do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 7 votes

My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly bear on each bicep...

She is infringing on my right to bear arms!

7 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |