A tourist was driving on a back road in Arkansas during a heavy rainstorm. He passed a cabin with a man sitting on the porch playing his fiddle.
"Why don't you go inside on this rainy day?" the tourist asked.
"Because the roof leaks," answered the fiddler.
"Well, then, why don't you fix the roof?"
"Can't fix a roof when it's raining," the fiddler answered.
"So, why don't you fix the roof on a sunny day?"
"'Cause the roof don't leak on sunny days!" replied the fiddler.
While going through his deceased father’s things, a man finds a 25-year-old claim check for a shoe repair.
Curious, he goes to the store and hands the owner the ticket.
The owner goes to the back and then reappears. “Good news,” he begins, “they’ll be ready next Friday.”
A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you, Irish?"
The guy, clearly offended says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage would you ask if I was Polish?"
The clerk says, "No I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Irish sausage why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're in Halfords Clothing Store."