Thief had successfully entered the art museum on the second floor, where lesser known artists are displayed. After previewing the art, he selected a piece to take.
As he was making his getaway, one of the guards came up from behind, snatched the picture from under the thief's arms and slammed it down over his head.
"Now," said the guard, "don't you go and tell the judge that I framed you!"
One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report for the year.
"Why don't you use Roman numerals to head the different sections?" another friend suggested.
"I thought of that," he replied. "But my keyboard doesn't have Roman numerals on it."