Little Johnny's mother is making dinner when Johnny runs up to her, sobbing uncontrollably. "Mom, Mom! I just cleaned my room!" he exclaims.
"Why, that's wonderful dear!" his mother replies. "But why does that make you so unhappy?"
"Because I still can't find my snake!"
My friend bought a bus pass to a nude beach.
It turned out to be a ticket to no wear.
I was arguing with a guy at a bar. He said he was a big pop star in the 80s.
I didn’t believe him, but he was adamant…
"You are late for golf again Dave."
"Yes, well-being a Sunday, I had to toss a coin to see if I should go to church or go and play golf."
"Okay, but why are you so late?"
"I had to toss it 15 times!"