I was standing in a lunch line with my husband when the guy in front of us looked down at my very pregnant belly, smiled, and asked, “What are you having?”
My impatient husband replied, “A steak sandwich.”
A physician had just finished up a colonoscopy.
Before the patient leaves, he asks the physician, "Could you write a note for my wife, saying that my head isn't really up there?"
A boy and his father go together for a boys’ day out at the zoo.
“Daddy, I don't like how that hyena is looking at me from behind that glass, it's quite scary!” says the boy.
“Shush, Jason, this is only the ticket office!”
Always keep several get well cards on the mantel...
If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.