Latest Jokes

$9.00 won 5 votes

When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"

"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him.

"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.

"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped.

"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with mom.

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes
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Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher.

I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately.

"You see where they're smoothing that cement?" he replied. "I just threw my wife's credit cards in there.

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$25.00 won 9 votes

A local citizen ran for a political position for the first time and won. "Congratulate me," he says to his wife. "I won the nomination!"

The wife replies, surprised, "Honestly?"

"Now why in thunder did you want to bring up that point for?"

9 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$15.00 won 8 votes

The clergyman of a large church, having just arrived in Fort Smith, was being shaved by a local barber that was addicted to occasional drinking sprees. There was an unmistakable odor of whisky around the barber's face and the razor suddenly nicked the man's face.

"You see, that comes from taking too much drink," said the clergyman.

"You're right," said the barber. "Drinking does make the skin tender, that's a fact."

8 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "barber7796" |