Latest Jokes

James comes home to find his wife Rachel sobbing bitterly. "Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry," she sniffles. "I was ironing your suit and went to answer the phone and ended up burning a big hole right in the seat of your pants!"

"There, there, darling," James replies, gently patting her shoulder. "All is well. I have another pair of pants to go with that suit."

"I know," Rachel sniffles. "I used them to patch the hole."

Seeing her friend Marcia wearing a new locket, Ashley asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.

“Yes,” says Marcia, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”

“But Larry’s still alive?”

“I know, but his hair is gone.”

Top 5 Things We're Hoping A.I. Does For Us:

Call balls and strikes. Seriously. Is it in the square, or not?

Explain how my wife can always be wrong.

Defend my Magic the Gathering collection with laser weapons.

Help me understand why Carrot Top is funny.

Replacing rolls of toilet paper the right way.