Two young boys were out playing. One of them was showing off his new water pistol.
"Tell your mom you want one of these too. Then we can shoot water at each other!" he exclaimed.
" I don't think so," said the other boy. "My mom says we have hard water!"
A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day.
His wife thought about this for a while.
She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
Her husband looked stunned. He said, "What?"
Did you hear about the Canadian man who had a map of Canada tattooed to his butt?
Every time he sat down, Quebec separated.
"Do you know why the golf pro tells you to keep your head down while swinging?"
"No, why?"
"It's so you can't see him laughing."