Why was school so much easier for cave people?
Because they had no history to study!
Apparently this was an actual radio conversation:
#1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."
#2: "Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."
#1: "This is the captain of a U.S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
#2: "No, I say again, divert YOUR course."
#1: "This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U.S. navy. Divert your course NOW!"
#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"
Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but the guy standing next to me was the only male to venture a number.
"Looks like 9 pounds," he offered confidently.
"This must not be your first," I said.
"Oh, yes," he said, "it's my first."
"Then how would you know the weight of a baby?" I asked.
He shrugged, "I'm a fisherman."
A West Virginia state trooper, stopped a woman for going 15 miles over the speed limit.
After he handed her a ticket, she asked him, "Don't you give out warnings?"
"Yes, ma'am," he replied. "They're all up and down the road. They say, 'Speed Limit 55.'"