Latest Jokes

$7.00 won 2 votes

As men grow older their hair begins to grow deeper into their scalp.

If it touches grey matter, it turns grey.

If it hits nothing, it falls out.

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CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Douglas" |
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At a boat rental concession, the manager went to the lake's edge and yelled through his megaphone, "Number 99, come in, please. Your time is up." Several minutes passed, but the boat didn't return. "Boat number 99," he again hollered, "return to the dock immediately or I'll have to charge you overtime."

"Something is wrong here, boss," his assistant said. "We only have 75 boats. There is no number 99."

The manager thought for a moment and then raised his mega-phone.

"Boat number 66!" he yelled. "Are you having trouble out there?"

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posted by "wadejagz" |
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It is better to be healthy than wise...

Being sick costs you money, but you can be dumb for free.

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
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Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine."

Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one overweight member said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently."

"Do you have anything else to add?" asked the manager.

"Well, yes," said the member. "I also lie extensively."

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |