"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you."
Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine. I'll take two."
Who cleans the ocean floor?
A Mer-Maid.
Did you hear there's a new Prozac virus out?
It screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
Husband: You brought home donuts. I thought we agreed, no sweets, while you were on your diet.
Wife: I know it but the Lord wanted me to have them.
Husband: How do you know the Lord wanted you to have them?
Wife: As I was approaching the donut shop I said to the Lord, "If it's your will for me to have donuts, let there be a parking space open right in front of the shop".
Husband: So I suppose there was an open parking space?
Wife: Absolutely! The eighth time around the block there it was.