What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 4 shots.
Husband: "Did you ever wonder why cats are so finicky?"
Wife: "You'd be finicky too if you had to bath yourself with your tongue."
Did you hear that they moved all the prisoners from Alcatraz island over to the Greek island of Crete?
They also changed the name to Con-Crete!
"You have to work on this, you can't keep arriving late for work."
"The trouble with getting to work on time, is that it makes the day so long."