Daughter: My fiancé said I could have whatever I wanted inscribed on his wedding ring. What should I put?
Mother: Put what I put on your father's wedding ring.
Daughter: What does it say. I've never seen daddy with it off.
Mother: Yes. It's worked very well over the years. It says, "Put it back on!"
Why did the energizer Bunny take so long to go to the bathroom?
Because he kept going and going and going...
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering...
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?"
I said, "Yes I did, but I don't believe everything I read."