A man comes home from work, expecting his dog to welcome him with nothing but excitement.
Dog: "I saw you out there."
Dog: "I saw you pet the neighbor's dog."
Me: "I was just..."
Dog: (crying) "Did you rub his belly? DID YOU ASK IF HE WAS A GOOD BOY?!"
I was driving down the road one day when I happened to see some kids with a lemonade stand. I stopped and found they had two bowls of ice cold lemonade. One was 75 cents a glass and the other was 25 cents a glass.
I asked for the 25 cents lemonade. I drank it all down and it was delicious. I asked what the difference was between bowls because the 25 cents lemonade was terrific.
The boys looked at each other then one of them said, "We're trying to get rid of that bowl of lemonade because a cat fell into it."