Latest Jokes

"Guess what?" yelled my high schooler as he burst through the door. "I got a 100 on the Spanish quiz that I didn’t even know we were having."

"That’s great!" I said. "But why didn’t you know about the quiz?"

"Because our teacher told us about it in Spanish."

At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures.

I asked the keeper, “How did that toast get into the cage?"

"It was bread in captivity,” she replied.

Little fishy in the sea,
How I wish I could catch thee.
Take you home as a new found pet,
Get you checked out by my vet.

Buy you glasses
A little coat,
Some fin mittens,
A tie that floats.

Send you to college to get a degree
Oh my gosh, what you're costing me!
That tie! The vet!
Oh the prices I've paid!
The next thing you're getting,
I'm afraid, is filleted.

If God had used the metric system, would there have been ten disciples instead of twelve?