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One good turn...

Usually gets most of the blanket.

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
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Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.

As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say.

"It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."

Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out, "If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"

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CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$10.00 won 7 votes

Danny, caught off-guard, yells at his roommate, "Dude! Why are you taking a bath with the bathroom door open?"

His roommate David replies, "I'm making sure no one is looking at me through keyhole."

7 votes

Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Clown" |
$25.00 won 4 votes

A mason visited a house to repair the water leakage of the ceiling. He found the hour owner drinking.

He asked, "When did you come to know that your ceiling is leaking?"

The owner replied, "Last night when it took me three hours to finish a single peg."

4 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "RS" |