Latest Jokes

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To win a coin toss every single time...

Call out, "Heads I win, Tails you lose!"

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posted by "Douglas" |
1 votes
 

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 100?"

He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer?"

"Oh no," I replied, "I've never done either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, I've heard that all 'red meat' is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?" he asked.

"No, I don't," I said.

He said, "Do you gamble or drive fast cars?"

"No," I said, "I've never done any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why on earth do you want to live to be 100?"

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CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$7.00 won 5 votes

Father: "Take a look at and learn something from your classmate Lucy. She got an A on the last exam."

Son: "Actually Dad, that's the reason I failed... I WAS looking at her."

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Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Bhanu Sandesh" |
1 votes
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Teacher: "Okay class, what is the value of Pi?"

Student: "Well, it's not an exact number but usually it's around $12.99."

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CATEGORY Teacher Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |