Two muffins are sitting in an oven.
First one says, “Boy, it’s hot in here.”
Second one says, “What the heck, a talking muffin!”
"I have really good eyesight. Even in the dark, I can see things that are far away."
"Really, like what things?"
"Well, the moon and the stars."
What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy, the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked Dewey, the new husband.
"Toast and juice," Tracy replied.