Patient: "I'm having a problem with my eyes. I see something from far but then when I get there, there's nothing. It's gone."
Doctor: "It's a new disease. It's called ASRD syndrome."
Doctor: "It stands for 'Annual Salary Revision Deficiency' syndrome."
In our home we tend to get the children to help out. One day our youngest son came in to the living room and asked, "Does anyone want a cup of coffee?"
"Yes, please!" we said.
He replied, "What kind of coffee do you want? Capitated or decapitated?"