“Teacher, I ain’t got no pencils,” says little Tom.
The teacher corrects him immediately saying, "The correct way to say it is, I don’t have any pencils, he doesn’t have any pencils, or they don’t have any pencils.' Do you understand?"
"What happened to all the pencils?”
People often say, “Elephants never forget!”
But exactly what is it that an elephant needs to remember?
Husband and wife are having a conversation.
Wife: "Since we got married, we don't go out anymore and we never go eat at nice restaurants. You are not romantic anymore. You never say sweet things to me anymore."
Husband: (Chuckling) "Oh Darling, don't look too much into it. You know I still love you. But have you ever seen a politician campaigning after winning an election?"
I went to the library the other day and found a book titled "How to Hug".
Wanting to learn the secrets of intimacy I quickly grabbed the book and headed to the checkout counter.
The librarian was polite but said I couldn't check out the book because it was the seventh volume of Encyclopedia Britannica.