How do you know Santa has to be a man?
No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.
Daughter: "Mom, are you gaining some weights?"
Mother: "Hon, it's because your dad always makes me angry. When I am mad, I eat a lot."
Daughter: "No wonder dad is bigger."
Daughter: "Mom, can you lend me $100?"
Mother: "What? Do you think I have $50? Don't you know it's hard to earn $20? Even $10 I don't have. Luckily I keep $5 in my purse. How about I lend you $2?"
Daughter: "Give it to me quickly. It might come down to $1."
A police officer found a lost toddler hysterically calling her mother. The police tried to talk and console the toddler.
Police: "Don't worry child, I will help you go home. Where do you live?"
Toddler: "With my parents."
Police: "Where do your parents live?"
Toddler: "With me."
Police: "Where do you all live?"
Toddler: "In our house."
Police: "Where is your house?"
Toddler: "Next to our neighbor's house."
Police: "Where is your neighbor's house?"
Toddler: "Will you get me home if I tell you?"
Police: "Tell me."
Toddler: "Next to our house."