The couple entered the resort's swanky dining room. "I'm sorry," apologized the Maitre D, "but there are no tables available."
"One moment, my friend," said the man, drawing himself up. "I happen to be Gregory R. Caruthers, the sportsman."
"I'd like to accommodate you, Mr. Caruthers, but there just isn't a table available this evening."
"I bet if the President came in and asked for a table, there'd be one available."
"Yes-s-s," the other admitted, "I suppose there would be a table available for the President."
"Good! I'll take it. He isn't coming!"
A hunter lost his bearings and wandered around the forest in a daze. Suddenly, he spotted another man. Dropping his rifle, he threw his arms around the other's neck and screamed, "Boy am I glad to see you! I've been lost in these woods for three days!"
"Restrain yourself," cautioned the other sadly, "I've been lost here for a week."