Agent (to writer): I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
Writer: First tell me the good news.
Agent: Paramount Pictures just loved your script, absolutely ate it up.
Writer: That’s fantastic! And the bad news?
Agent: Paramount Pictures is the name of my dog.
A dirty little boy was playing at the playground and walked up to his mother and asked, "Who am I?"
The mother replied, "I don't know! Who are you?"
The little boy said excitedly, "WOW! My teacher was right. She said that I was so dirty that even my own mother wouldn't recognize me."