misc jokes

Category: "Misc Jokes"
0 votes

Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver, "Say, is this really a healthful place?"

"It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed."

"That's wonderful!" said the tourist, "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."

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posted by "wadejagz" |
1 votes

My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.

One January night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.

"What did they say?" I asked.

"Well," he muttered, "for the past 30 years they've gone to Florida for the winter."

1 votes
posted by "HENNE" |
0 votes

Signs are not always what they seem...

IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

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posted by "Harry F" |
$5.00 won 9 votes

When I am told, "You'll regret that in the morning", I don't let it bother me.

Being a problem solver, I just sleep in till noon.

9 votes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "shopin55" |