You know its going to be a bad day if:
You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better.
Your car horn goes off accidentally, and remains stuck while you’re following a group of Hell’s angels.
You see a ’60 minutes’ team waiting in your office
The boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat.
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
Your blind date turns out to be your wife.
Your twin forgot your birthday.
Your Income Tax check bounces.
Two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of the dads gives them both a bit of advice. "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind. Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle."
At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads."
"Oh no you don't! My dad warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the men.
"And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too!" adds the other.