misc jokes

Category: "Misc Jokes"
1 votes

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was.

I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes

"Who dropped a wad of money with an elastic band around it?"

"I did!"

"Well, here's your elastic band."

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
0 votes

One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."

When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it."

"You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it. Otherwise, I won't know where to get off."

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
0 votes

What did the mummy director say after they finished making the movie?

That’s a wrap!

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Dragon" |