misc jokes

I hate hotel bath towels.

They’re so thick I can’t close my suitcase.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princesses lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and shallot cream sauce.

A man was telling his friend that on one of his previous trip to New York City he parked the car to go get some coffee. When he returned someone had stolen all the hubcaps off the car.

So before he went to get a cup of coffee on his next trip to NYC, he put a sign on the windshield saying the hubcaps are registered, and therefore, cannot be sold.

His friend asks, “So, what happened when you came back, were the hubcaps there?”

The man says, “Yeah, all the hubcaps were there, but the car was gone.”