What do you get if you mix sorbitol, gelatin, #3 red dye and artificial flavorings then post your formula online joking it's antigravity material?
You get a friendly midnight visit from men in black and get to explain you're only trying to make gummy bears.
A guy walked into a bar and noticed they had a huge Silver Back Gorilla sitting at the end of the bar on a short wide barstool.
The guy asked the barkeep why they had a gorilla. The bartender replied, “That’s Joe-Joe, he’s trained to give CPR if someone drinks too much. So what’ll you have there buddy?”
The man replied, “A Shirley Temple.”
A pet store owner held an emergency staff meeting.
Pet Store owner to all staff members: "Last month I installed an anonymous suggestion box and asked your thoughts on how to increase sales. I did say the suggestions are anonymous but I'd REALLY like to know who suggested we put recipes on the cages."
Politician (to his lawyer): I'll admit it was a miracle you were able to clear my name. However, I don't understand why you charged me three times the hours of actual work?
Lawyer: It has to do with the law.
Politician: Do you mean to tell me the law told you to triple bill me?
Lawyer: No, but for some odd reason the law doesn't allow me to write the word "bribe" on a billing statement.