I called the pharmacist to get a prescription refill. After leaving a message on their answering machine they called me back.

The nice young lady from the pharmacy explained they needed the prescription number off the pill container because they didn't understand the medication dosage I'd described.

She looked it up and said she'd found the problem. It was 20MG Tabs and not 2 OMG tablets.

I’m 30 years older than my wife. When she was born I was thirty times older than she.

When I was 40 she was 10 making me four times older.

When she was 20 years old I was 50 making me only 2.5 times older.

Last year when we married, she was 30 and I was 60, making me twice her age.

I figure before long we’ll be the same age...

Gigahertz: When the rock bands lead singer swan dives from the stage but no one catches him.
Megabyte: When your mouth overrides your ability to keep your job slinging hamburgers.

Hard Drive: That trip you make to the in-laws every Sunday for dinner!
Microwave: When you lift one finger off the steering wheel to wave.

Keyboard: The main structural backbone in ship building.
Algorithms: Highly trained dancing alligators.

Semi-Conductor: Person in training to lead an orchestra.
Terabyte: When a pitbull latches on to the seat of your pants but you emerge unscathed.

C++ code language: When you earned a B but your college professor doesn't like your pink hair.
Blue Tooth: When a lack of brushing goes way beyond the yellow tooth stage.

I'm beginning to think my five year old grandson is a genius...

I can't tell his paintings from that of Picasso!