Marty Profile

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Marty

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 563
# of followers : 15
# of following: 16
eligible jokes to win : 5
Location: United States
won: $ 460.00
1 votes

A man found a defenseless baby squirrel in the woods. He placed the tiny creature inside his shirt to carry it out.

When asked about his act of kindness he said, "No way I could leave this little critter in distress. However, I have a word to the wise, make sure you tighten your belt a notch or two before you toss one in your shirt."

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
$7.00 won 2 votes
 

In a European town the streets were cleared for an annual race.

The second place driver said the winner cheated by using one of those round intersections with several exits as a shortcut.

In the end the judges decided the winner did no wrong.

After all, turnabout is fair play.

2 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Marty" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

Billy: Though my Aunt is very dear to me the truth is, no one likes her homemade pudding except you Johnny. Tell me why you always get a double helping and also take the leftovers home?

Johnny: I use it to patch the cracks in my driveway; it lasts for years.

2 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

Teacher: What are you grateful for?

Megan: I’m grateful for the big man upstairs.

Little Johnny: Not me, the big man upstairs drives me nuts! He practices river dancing every night for an hour.

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |