Teacher: Johnny, what is a protagonist?

Little Johnny: It’s when you’re playing tag with kids from another neighborhood and they bring in a ringer... they're a
Pro-Tagonist.

I lost my job as a spy. I was supposed to stand in a certain location and report if anyone picked up a package left on a park bench.

It began to rain badly and not far from my location I saw a park sign with a small roof over it. I took cover from rain for the worst part, but upon return to my post the package was gone.

Apparently my supervisors didn’t like my report when I reminded them the number one rule for spies is to remain under cover at all times.

At school my friend told me he was being bullied by two guys. I was visibly upset and steaming around the collar. With a very stern look on my face and a forceful voice I said “Let’s go take care of this RIGHT NOW!”

My friend went on to say the very large but smaller of the two goes by the name G.O. Rilla and the other guy is called Gigantophithecus.

He told me he thinks the big one got that name because you can only see a baseball size patch of skin on his face the rest is covered by thick wire like hair. He went on to say he thinks the guy has been held back in school about six or seven times.

My friend was quite concerned about seeking them out and asked if I knew a defense art form he wasn’t aware of.

I replied “In fact I do, it’s called the art of diplomacy. We’re going to hire them as personal body guards. I get twenty bucks a week allowance, how about you?”

Have you ever wondered why older men usually lift they’re pant cuffs before slowly taking a seat?

Now that I’m older I’ve solved this age old mystery. It’s a matter of physics really and can be easily explained in scientific terms.

Let’s put it this way, due to the effect of iron magma spinning in the earth’s core creating gravitational property metrics change over time affects the dynamics between the physiological union in relation to the nomenclature of a seating devices.

This phenomenon reassigns the trajectories positional relationship rendering the elder human males posterior anatomy contact arrival with the seating device surface in what can be described as close race but nevertheless in second place.