Whenever you feel sad...
It helps to picture that somewhere in this world, there’s a fool pulling on a door that says “PUSH”!
Lady (to her doctor): "What l am worried about is my height and not my weight."
Doctor: "How come?"
Lady: "According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches."
Wife: "Whenever I keep money in my purse, our son steals it! I don’t know what to do?"
Husband: "Hide it in his books. I know he will never touch them."
What did the astronaut's fiancé say when he proposed in open space?
"I can't breathe!"