Best Jokes

41 votes

Whenever you feel sad...

It helps to picture that somewhere in this world, there’s a fool pulling on a door that says “PUSH”!

41 votes

posted by "ayush" |
39 votes

Before google, there were librarians. Here are some queries posed to the poor, suffering staff of public libraries:

• A woman wanted “inspirational material on grass and lawns.”

• “Who built the English Channel?”

• “Is there a full moon every night in Acapulco?”

• “Music suitable for a doll wedding to take place between a Shirley Temple doll and a teddy bear.”

• “Can the New York Public Library recommend a good forger?”

39 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Mary" |
$9.00 won 39 votes

A mother complained to my wife, a schoolteacher, that other students were stealing her daughter’s pencils.

“It’s not the money, it’s the principle,” she insisted. “My husband took those pencils from work.”

39 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "stee" |
39 votes

A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t excited about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”

“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.

“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were dumb fools? What would you be then?”

“Then I’d be a football fan.”

39 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "srg" |