Best Jokes

$50.00 won 19 votes

A psychiatrist met an old patient and exclaimed, "I heard you died."

"But you see I'm alive," smiled the ex-patient.

"Impossible," said the psychiatrist. "I was told you'd died by a colleague who's had 22 peer-reviewed papers published, so his opinion's bound to be much more reliable than yours."

19 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "mickey" |
$25.00 won 18 votes

A farmer and his wife got into a huge fight after which the wife stormed off. The farmer says, "Where did you leave the tractor?"

The wife replies, "In the Mill field."

But there's no way into the Mill field!"

"There is now."

18 votes

CATEGORY Farmer Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Mounika" |
$50.00 won 18 votes

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours, I will give you $5,000."

The idiot replies, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now my turn, what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?"

The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?"

The idiot hands over $5.

18 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "mickey" |
$25.00 won 18 votes

Wife goes to an astrologer to learn more about her husband. The astrologer asks her, "Do you want to know about your husband's future?"

Without hesitation, the wife responds. "I will decide his future, you just tell me about his past."

18 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Kishore" |