Best Jokes

$25.00 won 19 votes

Wife goes to an astrologer to learn more about her husband. The astrologer asks her, "Do you want to know about your husband's future?"

Without hesitation, the wife responds. "I will decide his future, you just tell me about his past."

19 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Goel" |
19 votes
 

Two students were talking about their childhood.

"I was a very clever toddler. By the time I was ten months old, I could already walk."

"You call that clever?" the other said. "I managed to trick my parents into carrying me until I was three!"

19 votes

CATEGORY Baby Jokes
posted by "TheBee" |
$25.00 won 18 votes

A farmer and his wife got into a huge fight after which the wife stormed off. The farmer says, "Where did you leave the tractor?"

The wife replies, "In the Mill field."

But there's no way into the Mill field!"

"There is now."

18 votes

CATEGORY Farmer Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Mounika" |
$50.00 won 18 votes

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours, I will give you $5,000."

The idiot replies, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now my turn, what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?"

The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?"

The idiot hands over $5.

18 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "mickey" |