Best Jokes

"Yes, once i came face to face with a lion, and to make matters worse, I was alone and weapon less."

"Goodness! What did you do?"

"What could I do? First I tried looking straight into his eyes, but he kept crawling up on me. Then I thought of plunging my arm down his throat, grabbing him by the tail and turning him inside out, but I decided it would be too dangerous. Yet he continued creeping up on me. I had to think fast...."

"How did you get away?"

"I just left him and passed on to the next cage."

How did the octopus defeat the shark?

He was well armed!

The pastor and one of his deacons were walking to parking lot on a frosty day after church. The deacon slipped on the walkway and fell flat on his back.

The pastor, after being assured that the deacon was not injured said, "Friend, sinners stand on slippery places."

The deacon looked up as if to assure himself of the fact said, "I see they do, but I can't."

My son asked me if a punch bowl is a place where you keep names of people you want to punch...

I usually keep them in my head but, keeping them in a fancy crystal bowl seems classy.