When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice. "The first seven years are the hardest," she said.
"How long have you been married?" I asked.
"Seven years," she replied.
Him: "This article says women use about 30,000 words a day, whereas men only use 15,000 words."
Her: "That's probably because a woman has to say everything twice."
Him: "...What?"
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"
The judge said that was true.
"Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked.
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
The man turned and looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."
I went for an interview at a big IT company today for the position of Computer Hacking Investigator.
The boss asked me, "So, what makes you suitable for this job?"
"Well," I replied, "I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview!"