Best Jokes

Which is it again, is it the right to bear arms?

Or the right to arm bears?

A fellow was boasting about what a good citizen he was and what a refined, disciplined lifestyle he led. "I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't gamble, I don't cheat on my wife, I am early to bed and early to rise, I work hard all day, and attend religious services faithfully."

Very impressive, right? Then he added, "I've been like this for the last five years, but just you wait until they let me out of this place!"

I need to re-home a dog.

It's a small terrier and tends to bark a lot.

If you're interested, let me know and I'll climb over my neighbor's fence and get it for you.

Nothing looks good on me anymore,” wailed a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department store’s mirror.

“Nonsense, ma’am,” soothed the salesclerk. “That dress says it all.”

“That’s the problem,” the woman replied. “I need a dress that keeps its mouth shut.”