"What's your favorite childhood memory?"
"Not paying bills."
There once was an old monk that lived up on top of a mountain. He walked 10 miles barefoot every day and had terrible breath due to his position on non-natural objects and foods.
He called himself The Truth-Carrier, but everyone in the small mountaineering town knew him as a super calloused fragile mystic with chronic halitosis.
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked,
"To draw out all his savings?"
A juvenile court was prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary. The judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter.
"Leah Rauch, deputy prosecutor."
"Linda Jones, probation officer."
"Sam Clark, public defender."
"John," said the teen who was on trial. "I’m the one who stole the truck."