Best Jokes

3 votes

One summer evening, a 3-year-old came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help. His mother said, "No, but I appreciate your asking."

The child responded, "Well, I appreciate your saying no."

3 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$25.00 won 3 votes

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.

The bartender says, "Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"

"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."

3 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$5.00 won 3 votes

Some people say that I'm superficial...

But that's just on the surface.

3 votes

posted by "wadejagz" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

As a man serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let him know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale.

"I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something," she suggested.

"I don't have a girlfriend," he answered.

"No girlfriend? Why not?"

"My wife won't let me. "

3 votes

posted by "outward" |