Best Jokes

- Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

- Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

- Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

- Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

- Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder... louder... LOUDER...

- Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

- If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

My daughter was doing her homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo.

I, proudly and confidently, told her that he was just a poor boy from a poor family.

I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.

I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it.

"At 50 cents a call, I've been making $38 a week!"