Best Jokes

$50.00 won 3 votes

I now know how it will end for me...

One of my kid's will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "nerdasaurus" |
$15.00 won 3 votes

A little known fact:

Aesop used to moonlight as a waiter in a small restaurant in his home city. While taking orders one day, he heard a diner call out, "Hey Aesop, can you tell us the story of The Elephant and the Squirrel?"

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't," Aesop replied. "That's not my fable."

3 votes

posted by "Kathy Harrington" |
3 votes

Friend: "Hey can you help me get tickets for the new Star Wars movie?"

Me: "Sure, I can lend you a Han!"

3 votes

posted by "Joanna" |
3 votes

The new minister stood at the church door greeting the members as they left the Sunday morning service. While most of the people told the minster how much they liked his message, one man seemingly had a different opinion. “That was a very dull and boring sermon, Pastor,” he said.

The pastor was a bit baffled by this, but he continued shaking hands. A few minutes later, the same man again appeared in line and said, “I don’t think you did much in the way of preparation for your message.”

Once again, the man circled back and appeared in line, this time muttering, “You really blew it. You didn’t have a thing to say, Pastor.”

Finally, the minister could stand it no longer. He went to one of the deacons and inquired about the man. “Oh, don’t let that guy bother you,” said the deacon. “He’s a little behind. All he does is go around repeating whatever he hears other people saying.”

3 votes

posted by "HENNE" |