Best Jokes
Favorite this joke My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.
One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."
Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate."
My husband was going on a diet, but when we pulled into a fast-food restaurant, he ordered a milkshake. I pointed out that a shake isn't exactly the best snack for someone who wants to lose weight. He agreed, but he didn't change his order.
The long line must have given him time to make the connection between his order and his waistline. As the woman handed him his shake, she said, "Sorry about the wait."
"That's okay," he replied. "I'm going to lose it."
On my first day teaching remedial English to inmates, I was very nervous to be in a prison classroom.
My students seemed uncomfortable as well, many of them hadn’t been near a classroom in decades.
I began class by nervously asking, “Who can tell me what a sentence is?”
The class burst out laughing. That broke the ice.
A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.
At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven! Heaven!" yelled little Lisa.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.
"Dead!" yelled Little Johnny.
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