Best Jokes

(Husband) Honey, at this year’s office Halloween party why don’t I wear a superman costume you can go as a witch?

(Wife) How clever!

(Husband) What do you mean?

(Wife) It’s a polar opposite theme right?

(Grandson) Grandpa, I think the 'Y generation' has modern views and a forward thinking way more ahead of the life view of your day.

(Grandfather) I appreciate and respect your thoughts but I disagree and can back up my claim with facts.

(Grandson) Sounds fair grandpa, please state your case.

(Grandfather) First off, one question, did you take the ice bucket challenge?

(Grandson, proudly answers) Yes, in fact I did!

(Grandfather) I rest my case.

I have a way with women...

As soon as I open my mouth, they go a-way!

On social media I posted, “If anyone mentions Christmas before Thanksgiving, I'm going to delete them!”

The next day, I didn’t have any friends.