Best Jokes

3 votes

Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound.

The other two are goulash and squid.

3 votes

posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes

A woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then she says, well then, let it read: "Fred Brown died."

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries.

She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Fred Brown died. Golf clubs for sale.'"

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims to the whole table, "What rotten luck I've had today! What in the world should I do now?"

A man standing next to her suggests, "I don't know, why don't you play your age?"

He walks away, but moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 36, and when 47 came up she just fainted!"

3 votes

posted by "outward" |
3 votes

I don't always ride in passenger jets but when I do I buy a first class ticket...

The thing is, flying scares me but in first class they hand out free "bravery beverages"!

3 votes

CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
posted by "Marty" |