Best Jokes

$8.00 won 3 votes

Valentine Day sign at the local produce store:

I love you... from my head TO-MA-TOES!

3 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "barber7796" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

He didn't, because during the Jurassic period there were no roads.

3 votes

posted by "barber7796" |
3 votes

A southern gentleman decided to plant yeast in his fields...

He know "the South will rise again!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Farmer Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |
3 votes

My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals. Tired of it after several months, I said, "I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch."

"Fair enough. From now on I'll make my own," he replied. A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him afterwards.

"We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like," he suggested.

I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated and the waitress came to take our order. My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, "Separate checks, please..."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Frank Bieniek" |