Best Jokes

Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually...

It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for solitaire.

A grandmother sent her grandson a shirt for his birthday. The only trouble was that he had a size 14 neck and the shirt was size 12.

When the grandson sent a thank you note, he wrote, “Dear Grandma. Thanks a lot for the shirt. I’d write more, but I’m all choked up.”

A stranded motorist knocked on the door of an inn named “George and the Dragon.”

“Could you spare a poor stranded motorist a bite to eat?” he asked the woman who answered the door.

“No!” she screamed, slamming the door.

A few seconds later he knocked again. The same woman answered the door.

“Could I please have a bite to eat?” he asked again.

“Get out, you good-for-nothing!” shouted the woman. “And don’t you ever come back!”

After a few minutes there's another knock at the door. The woman comes to the door.

“Pardon,” said the motorist, “but could I have a few words with George this time?”

A boy is listening to the car radio with his father.

"Dad," he began, "what music did you like when you were growing up?"

"Well, I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin," the father replies.

"Who?"

"Yeah, I liked them too."