Little Johnny's family had guests for dinner.
The dessert was apple pie. Mom cut the pieces and Little Johnny carried them to the table.
He gave the first piece to Dad, who passed it to a guest.
Little Johnny came in with the second piece and gave it to Dad, who again gave it to a guest.
This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."
For the second week in a row, my son and I were the only ones who showed up for his soccer team’s practice.
Frustrated I told him, “Please tell your coach that we keep coming for practice, but no one is ever here.”
My son rolled his eyes and said, ”He’ll just tell me the same thing he did before.”
“Which was?”
“That practice is now on Wednesdays, not Tuesdays.”
After eight days of backpacking with my wife Linda, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles.
"Terry," she said, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?"
I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"
As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention.
She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right.
"I'm fine," she assured me,"but I hate to think what could have happened to me if that dog hadn't honked."