Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The policeman said, "What's he like?"
Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"
A duck, a skunk, and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill!
As I left the grocery store, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.
"I'll buy a chocolate bar on one condition," I said to the boys. "You eat it for me."
I bought one and handed the candy back to one of the boys. He shook his head. "I can't," he said.
"Why not?"
Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, "I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."
When they first invented the clock...
How did they know what time to set it to?